Lord Roberts has asked me to apologize for his not having written recently or answered any questions but he has suffered a heart attack and consequently had open heart surgery. He says he will write again when he feels well enough. Thank you.

This blog is in answer to a question we are often asked: “When I’m at a party or any event where hors d’ourves are being served one often finds several dips and crudite provided. So what do I do once I have dipped my crudite but still find I have some vegetable left-can I dip it again or should I simply munch on what is left?” Here is the answer The proper etiquette in this situation is to pick up a small plate if one is provided and spoon some of the dip onto the plate.  Then you may double dip as much as you like.  If plates are not provided, then I am sorry you will have to munch on what you have left.  Usually the crudite is small enough for a single dip so you will not have to worry about double dipping.

Don’t reserve your best behavior for special occasions. You can’t have two sets of manners, two social codes - one for those you admire and want to impress, another for those whom you consider unimportant. You must be the same to all people.  Lillian Eichler Watson

This statement is so accurate–I wonder sometimes however, if we use our worst manners around those we claim to love the most because we feel they will accept us anyway. Don’t you think that the most important people in our lives are our family and friends and that they deserve to be the recipients of our best manners and behavior!

I find so often these days that parents are no longer interested in parenting because they are so tied up with their own selves that they become an ecumbrance in their lives. Take for an example something that happened a little while ago.  We know some parents who allowed their children, who were under 9 years of age, to stay up playing video games until they were discovered by their grandmother at 2.30am   while the parents were safely tucked up in bed.  There appears to be a role reversal here.  The following morning when the parents were told what had happened nothing was said or done about it.  The comment which was made was “they are only kids”  What!  Who is the child and who is the parent?  Parents get a grip on your responsibilities and start disciplining and training your children.  Put the children to bed at a reasonable hour, not the other way round.  Then we might have some etiquette and good manners in this world today before we all go down the plug hole in a morass of filth and decadence. Etiquette and good manners has so much to do with respect and concern for others. When parents leave the children to do just as they please, the children grow up with a lack of concern for others and a sense of entitlement–it is all about me and what I want– I can do as I please.

We recently read the following article in the New York Times, “Etiquette, Manners and Social questions,” section and wanted to share it with you.

No ‘Rugrats,’ Please

By PHILIP GALANES

Art Work by Christoph Niemann

Published: July 23, 2009

We gave a party recently. In our invitation we made clear, in a polite way, that it was “adults only.” But some guests insisted on bringing their children and were deeply offended when we would not give in.

 Our home is not child-friendly, and some children are impossible. We thought it would be worse to make exceptions, so we made a blanket rule: Get a baby sitter or send regrets. Were we wrong?

Anonymous, New York City

Well, blood is thicker than water — which may explain the parental insistence— but it’s also harder to get out of the living room rug. You did nothing wrong, dear hostess.

I love children, especially when they start crying and someone takes them away. (Only kidding — really!) And the kindest gloss on your tale may be that parents love their children so much, they assume everyone else does, too.

Still, they go too far when they badger the person lavishing them with food and drink about the guest list. That’s your prerogative. And wanting to make a party for adults is perfectly reasonable.

When I was a child, adults rarely invited us to their shindigs. It helped us understand that we are not the center of the universe. Today’s tykes may have a harder time with this concept, since many of their parents arrange their adult lives around the hobbies and sporting events of those not yet able to read, drive a car or vote (other than on “American Idol”).

So if you want to give a party for the mature set, go for it. And parents: If you can’t find child care, stay home. An afternoon in the park with a 9-year-old is terrific, but a cocktail party hijacked by the Wii, or whiny requests for chicken fingers, gets old fast.

Do you agree? We welcome your comments on this situation and will share our thoughts when we have heard your ideas.

On May 30th Lord Roberts was the Master of Ceremonies (Toastmaster) for the George Wythe University (Cedar City, Utah) Gala Fund Raising Event.

It was held at the Rotunda at the Utah State Capitol. The guest speaker was Glenn Beck who received “The Statesman Of the Year” award.

Lord and Lady Roberts support the mission of George Wythe University  and Lord Roberts was delighted to be involved in the event. For more about GWU and photos of the event, visit their website: www.gw/edu

Watch for the pre-launch of Lord Roberts’ new blog: gentlemenpreferstyle.com. There will be a link from this site to the new site but of course you can reach it directly. It is in the building stage at present but will be up and running in the next two weeks (fortnight).

Lord Roberts  is introducing this blog in an effort to help gentlemen dress to impress their employers, clients and future employers. He realizes that every avenue that can be used to help someone be more secure in this economic downturn should be utilized. Understanding presentation is vital to being successful.

The blog site will cover  how to care for, wear and chose quality clothes for a gentleman’s wardrobe.  It will also cover accessories, grooming, cologne and much, much more. All your questions and comments will be welcome and answered and available for discussion. You will find utube videos on many of the subjects discussed.

Lord Roberts has taken care of some very wealthy and successful  people in his career so he is very knowledgeable when it comes to this area.

The following link will take you to an entry that explains the motivation behind the new site.

http://lordmanners.com/?p=314

It is always sad when a customer is dissatisfied with the food or service they receive at a restaurant. People simply want to go out for an enjoyable, quiet meal. When this doesn’t happen for no fault of their own, they are disappointed. When they spend their hard earned money and time patronizing a restaurant they deserve to get their money’s worth and if they don’t they are quite within their rights to let the management know. The management should show “good graces” by humbly accepting the complaint and doing all in their power to satisfy the patron; after all, it is the patron that keeps them in business and pays their wages

.

A little while ago, Lady Roberts and I were having lunch in the “Cheesecake Factory” in Utah.  Lady Roberts ordered salmon and found out halfway through her meal that the thicker end of her portion was raw on the inside. The waitress took it back to the kitchen, only to return and tell her that the chef said it was fine!  Lady Roberts pointed out that it was not fine.  The waitress then asked if we would like to take it home and cook it there!! Where upon she took the meal away and returned it to her boxed, quite without her permission. We were absolutely astounded by this and Lady Roberts who is quite able to take care of herself in situations like this, pointed out that it was not cooked and to tell her chef that under such circumstances the customer is always right. She then asked for the manager.  What appeared to be a 20 year old female came along and proceeded to argue with us, that we were wrong and confirmed that the chef was right.

The 13 year old manageress (by her attitude and actions she had lowered herself to that age), then asked what we wanted her to do about it?  She said to Lady Roberts “You are taking it home aren’t you so what’s the problem?” Lady Roberts immediately handed back the food and explained that she hadn’t wanted to take it home in the first place. She had wanted to eat it but it was raw.  By this time I was beginning to get a great feeling of ennui towards this 7 year old manageress.  I said to her “Why don’t you find a corner and think about this for five minutes and then come and give us your thoughts?”  She then decided to take the salmon off the bill and offer us a complimentary dessert.

I do not know how the Management of the “Cheesecake Factory” train there staff, but in this instance it fell by the wayside.

Lord Roberts and I have made a list of the 10 most important manners today’s society needs to learn and practice. We have pingbacks to previous articles on the topics listed and a couple of links to articles we consider worth reading.

1. The golden rule believe it or not, still applies; “Treat others as you would have others treat you.” Unfortunately, the majority of people seem to have forgotten this.

www.eastex.net/lemar/Manners.htm

2. Respect for others is so vital today. If people truly respected other people there would be less violence and crime.

http://lordmanners.com/?p=114

4. Courtesy for other people and their property are the outward expression of inner respect, it is sorely needed in today’s society.

http://lordmanners.com/?p=282

3. Something we were raised to believe is that “please and thank you”  never go out of style. We see however, that generally people  seem to have forgotten how to use of the “magic words”.

http://lordmanners.com/?p=189

4. Table manners are at an all time low but people are painfully aware of the need for them.

http://lordmanners.com/?p=272

http://lordmanners.com/index.php?paged=2

5.  Cell phone use either to talk or text needs to be used with courtesy and safety in mind.

lordmanners.com/?p=210

6.  Talking over others is another sign of a lack of respect that we need to practice more diligently.

 lordmanners.com/?p=315

7.  Learning to lower voices in public is a further sign of consideration for those around us.

http://lordmanners.com/?p=273

8. Chewing gum seems to be an American passion but it is rude to chew and talk.

9. “Road rage” is a dangerous pass time and we need to learn some composure and patience on the highway.

http://lordmanners.com/?p=209

10. Appropriate dress is always welcome. We are amazed to see so many young people opt to go to the market, mall or movies in their pjs.

lordmanners.com/?p=301

Lord Roberts wants to hear what you feel are the ten most important manners people need to learn and practice. You have until Feb 28th to submit your selection to him. He will then let the rest of us know his top ten and the top ten of those who write in.

Manners seem to be on the decline in today’s society. We would like to see a revival of courtesy in our communities so we want to hear from all of you which ones you think are of greatest importance.

We look forward to hearing from all of you.