Lord Manners.com

Watch for the pre-launch of Lord Roberts’ new blog: gentlemenpreferstyle.com. There will be a link from this site to the new site but of course you can reach it directly. It is in the building stage at present but will be up and running in the next two weeks (fortnight).

Lord Roberts  is introducing this blog in an effort to help gentlemen dress to impress their employers, clients and future employers. He realizes that every avenue that can be used to help someone be more secure in this economic downturn should be utilized. Understanding presentation is vital to being successful.

The blog site will cover  how to care for, wear and chose quality clothes for a gentleman’s wardrobe.  It will also cover accessories, grooming, cologne and much much more. All your questions and comments will be welcome and answered and available for discussion. You will find utube videos on many of the subjects discussed.

Lord Roberts has taken care of some very wealthy and successful  people in his career so he is very knowledgeable when it comes to this area.

The following link will take you to an entry that explains the motivation behind the new site.

http://lordmanners.com/?p=314

It is always sad when a customer is dissatisfied with the food or service they receive at a restaurant. People simply want to go out for an enjoyable, quiet meal. When this doesn’t happen for no fault of their own, they are disappointed. When they spend their hard earned money and time patronizing a restaurant they deserve to get their money’s worth and if they don’t they are quite within their rights to let the management know. The management should show “good graces” by humbly accepting the complaint and doing all in their power to satisfy the patron; after all, it is the patron that keeps them in business and pays their wages

.

A little while ago, Lady Roberts and I were having lunch in the “Cheesecake Factory” in Utah.  Lady Roberts ordered salmon and found out halfway through her meal that the thicker end of her portion was raw on the inside. The waitress took it back to the kitchen, only to return and tell her that the chef said it was fine!  Lady Roberts pointed out that it was not fine.  The waitress then asked if we would like to take it home and cook it there!! Where upon she took the meal away and returned it to her boxed, quite without her permission. We were absolutely astounded by this and Lady Roberts who is quite able to take care of herself in situations like this, pointed out that it was not cooked and to tell her chef that under such circumstances the customer is always right. She then asked for the manager.  What appeared to be a 20 year old female came along and proceeded to argue with us, that we were wrong and confirmed that the chef was right.

The 13 year old manageress (by her attitude and actions she had lowered herself to that age), then asked what we wanted her to do about it?  She said to Lady Roberts “You are taking it home aren’t you so what’s the problem?” Lady Roberts immediately handed back the food and explained that she hadn’t wanted to take it home in the first place. She had wanted to eat it but it was raw.  By this time I was beginning to get a great feeling of ennui towards this 7 year old manageress.  I said to her “Why don’t you find a corner and think about this for five minutes and then come and give us your thoughts?”  She then decided to take the salmon off the bill and offer us a complimentary dessert.

I do not know how the Management of the “Cheesecake Factory” train there staff, but in this instance it fell by the wayside.

Lord Roberts and I have made a list of the 10 most important manners today’s society needs to learn and practice. We have pingbacks to previous articles on the topics listed and a couple of links to articles we consider worth reading.

1. The golden rule believe it or not, still applies; “Treat others as you would have others treat you.” Unfortunately, the majority of people seem to have forgotten this.

www.eastex.net/lemar/Manners.htm

2. Respect for others is so vital today. If people truly respected other people there would be less violence and crime.

http://lordmanners.com/?p=114

4. Courtesy for other people and their property are the outward expression of inner respect, it is sorely needed in today’s society.

http://lordmanners.com/?p=282

3. Something we were raised to believe is that “please and thank you”  never go out of style. We see however, that generally people  seem to have forgotten how to use of the “magic words”.

http://lordmanners.com/?p=189

4. Table manners are at an all time low but people are painfully aware of the need for them.

http://lordmanners.com/?p=272

http://lordmanners.com/index.php?paged=2

5.  Cell phone use either to talk or text needs to be used with courtesy and safety in mind.

lordmanners.com/?p=210

6.  Talking over others is another sign of a lack of respect that we need to practice more diligently.

 lordmanners.com/?p=315

7.  Learning to lower voices in public is a further sign of consideration for those around us.

http://lordmanners.com/?p=273

8. Chewing gum seems to be an American passion but it is rude to chew and talk.

9. “Road rage” is a dangerous pass time and we need to learn some composure and patience on the highway.

http://lordmanners.com/?p=209

10. Appropriate dress is always welcome. We are amazed to see so many young people opt to go to the market, mall or movies in their pjs.

lordmanners.com/?p=301

Lord Roberts wants to hear what you feel are the ten most important manners people need to learn and practice. You have until Feb 28th to submit your selection to him. He will then let the rest of us know his top ten and the top ten of those who write in.

Manners seem to be on the decline in today’s society. We would like to see a revival of courtesy in our communities so we want to hear from all of you which ones you think are of greatest importance.

We look forward to hearing from all of you.

Lady Roberts and I joined a group the other day and we had to  travel on a bus. The tour guide raised his microphone and introduced himself to the passengers.  The bus was full of people of all ages.  He proceeded to tell us about our journey and where we were going and how long it would take us to get there.  As he gave us this important information a group of teenagers talked and laughed. Some of the travelers tried to shush them but they ignored them and continued to talk throughout his speech.  I was amazed that none of the parents of these young men and women said anything to their children or asked them to show respect not only to the tour guide but to others who were trying to listen.  I was always taught that it was counted as good manners or etiquette that, when an adult spoke, everyone should remain silent and listen as we might learn something.

Why is it nowadays that children are allowed to do or say anything they want to without a reprimand of some form.  They are not taught to respect others.  Parents seem to abdicate their responsibilities to train their children in the nicer forms of etiquette and good manners.  During times such as these, the jewel of wisdom “Children should be seen and not heard”, certainly would have applied.  What do you think?

I heard on the news over Christmas that the sale of men’s wear has risen although sales in every other area have decreased. This may at first glance seem like a strange phenomena. Could it be however, because competition in the work force is greater now than it has ever been and men in particular have to make that extra effort to look their best to secure their jobs?

A sloppily dressed man in the office or traveling about the country, could send a signal to all and sundry that his work is also sloppy and his attention to detail is somewhat lacking.  Remember, the way you dress, the way you speak and the way you present yourself, is all part of etiquette. The well groomed man will send out the correct signal to those he works with and comes in contact with that he is serious about his business.

On November 22nd Lord Roberts went to Cedar City, Utah to train the ambassadors at the George Wythe University. George Wythe was one of the signers of the Declaration of Independence and had a strong hand in teaching many of our Founding Fathers and framers of the Constitution.

“George Wythe University stands on the belief that Statesmanship is the product of a particular educational system, known to the great leaders of the past, but lost to modern academia. It is a principle-centered process grounded in the belief in God and immutable moral law, framed on the classics of literature, history, science, the arts, and philosophy, and crowned in the discipline of real-world application under the guidance of a committed and caring mentor.”

The above is a statement from their home page. Here is the link:  http://www.gw.edu/

Lord Roberts and I willingly support this University and their philosophy.  Great statesmen are needed in these difficult times but are hard to find.  Lord Robert’s training includes the art of conversation, poetry recitation, good manners, table manners and the essentials of etiquette. In the Spring he will teach them again and then will be the Master of Ceremonies at their gala fund raising event that will be held this year in the rotunda at the Utah State Capitol.

For a reminder of the importance of their work in modern America visit their web site.  They would be grateful for your support. Follow this link for photos of this years gala fund raising event: http://newsletter.gw.edu/archive/CampusNews/61

Most of the world uses both utensils together, to eat: knife in the right hand and fork in the left. The US of course does things in their own way and after cutting the food with their knife and fork they place their knife on the side of the plate, transfer their fork to the right hand and scoop their food with it. I am not saying their is anything wrong with this; what I am saying is, it behooves us to learn how to use our utensils in the continental way because it is considered by etiquette enthusiasts and gurus, to be more sophisticated. Most people, once they get the hang of it, prefer it.

In his book The Art of Etiquette: Make Money Over Dinner. Lord Roberts gives the following instructions:

“Eating Styles”

“The most refined style of eating is the European style but if you eat the American way do not make the mistake of some I have seen while eating in restaurants in the U.S.

For example:

·       Do not hold your utensils as if they are daggers, or as if you are holding a cello by its neck. Curl your fingers over the handle of the fork.

·       Do not stab your food with your knife, while you cut it as though it is not quite dead.

·       Do not put your knife in your mouth, or lick it with your tongue.

·       Do not pile your food onto the bowl of your fork and shovel it into your mouth.

European Style

 Take the knife in your right hand, the handle rests inside the palm and curl your fingers round the handle with the blade facing downwards. This does not need to be a tight grip, just a steady one. It is acceptable to put your finger along the back of your knife if you need a firmer cut. Once you have picked it up, you do not put it down again until you have, finished eating, or wish to pause.           

Pick up your fork in the left hand in the same manner, with the tines curved down towards the plate. You do not put your knife down after you have cut a piece of food and change your fork to your right hand. It stays in your left hand with its tines down throughout the meal. Cut all your food with your knife and use it to push the food onto the back of the fork. After balancing your food on the back of the fork, lift it to your mouth. Only cut enough food for one mouthful at a time.”

We notice that Halloween is huge in the US; it is getting more popular in the UK but a much bigger celebration in the UK takes place on November 5th; Guy Fawkes Night.  For those who aren’t familiar with Guy Fawkes here are a few historical facts.

Guy Fawkes was a Yorkshire man birth name; Guido Fawkes (13 Apr 1570-31 Jan 606) who was a member of a political group called English Roman Catholics. This revolutionary group tried to kill King James I of England and most of England’s aristocracy by blowing up the Houses of Parliament on its state opening day on November 5, 1605. He was not the leader of the group but they put him in charge because of his military background.  The plot was foiled bu a traitor and Guido Fawkes was caught and  executed.

In England since that time, children have made effigies of Guido Fawkes and stood on street corners asking for a donation to buy fireworks. The popular rhyme is “Penny for the guy.” On the evening of November 5th the guy is burned on a huge bonfire. Nowadays, the practice of asking for pennies is considered begging and has almost died out. Also, today persons under 18 are not allowed to buy fireworks. Actually the guy had nothing to do with Guy Fawkes but was an effigy of the Pope, a strong link to the anti-Catholic sentiment of the era but the two have become synonomous.

When I was a child Guy Fawkes night was a fun family affair. We had a huge bonfire in the back garden on which we burned our guy. We also roasted jacket potatoes and cooked sausages in the fire on long sticks, we also had tomato soup. My parents let off a fabulous firework display and we all had a wonderful time. Now-a-days however,  garden bonfires don’t seem to be so popular and many communities put on the celebration in public parks.

The night before Guy Fawkes night is called “Mischief Night” and used to be harmless fun but these days it has become a time taken over by older youths as a time to show off their bad manners. Many use this time to vandalize and harass.  If they attend the community celebrations they are the ones who push and shove in the crowds and are generally rude. Such is our modern society.

What to do with your utensils: the following is taken from Lord Roberts ebook: The Art of Etiquett; Make Money Over Dinner

“In 1901, G.R.M. Devereux said in Etiquette for Women, “. . . after you pick up a piece of cutlery, it should never touch the table again.”  The same advice is true today. If you rest from eating during the course of the meal to hold a conversation or take water or wine, you may place your flatware/silverware on the edges of your plate. The handles may rest on the plate with the blade of the knife pointing from 4-10 o’clock and the fork resting the same way, on the opposite side of the plate from 8-2 o’clock with the tines of the fork pointing down.  This tells the server that you are not yet finished with the meal and that you are pausing. Once you have finished your meal, place the knife and fork in the center of the plate in a 6-12 o’clock position, or a little to the right. The knife blade should point in and the fork tines should point up.”

One other thought regarding your utensils. Never use them to emphasis a point.  By this I mean, do not wave them to get the attention of your server. Do not wave them around or use them to point at another  person at the table  when you wish to emphasis your point of view during a conversation.  We have seen this happen and it not only has the potential to toss food particles around or in someones face but is extremely rude.

In the next entry we will talk about the most frequently asked question we hear; which fork to use when!